This is not a 5 things I learned post but on Wednesday I'm leaving for Vipassana and I wanted to share my own spiritual development journey.
What is it? Basically Vipassana is 10 days of silent meditation.
Why am I doing it? I'm doing it because I want to be even more peaceful and happier with myself and the world around me. I am doing it for my spiritual and emotional growth.
This note is serving as a journal for myself and a blog, a space to express my thoughts and fears about this endeavor and a platform to share why I feel it's important for me to do this at this time.
So what will I be doing? I will be going away for 10 days to a Vipassana Center in Jessup, Georgia where I will, essentially pause my extrenal identity, possessions and voice for 10 days. I will commit myself to the rules and times schedule. I will be completely reliant on the kindness of strangers who will feed me and provide me with a place to sleep with no expectation of any reward. (They are all volunteers and there is no fee for attending Vipassana.) I will have no contact with the outside world or the other participants. I will wake at 4am and meditate, according to instruction, for most of the day.
Just the notion of this process and set-up humbles me.
The premise of Vipassina is that through the process of meditaion, instruction and immersion I will develop a deeper understanding of myself. Vipassina means to see things as they really are. It is a method that has been taught for 2500 years in India.
I am nervous. I have listened to the reports of others who talk about leg cramps, tiredness and deep emotional releases. I am unsettled by the unknown. What will I find out about myself that I don't already know? Will I dissapoint myself and not make it to the end? Will I be starving hungry all the time? How will I get through 10 days without talking to my husband and children? I can hardly get through a couple of hours now.
And at the same time I am excited. I am so excited about the idea of being more free from mental addictions, which is what the process often produces. I am excited by the physical and emotional challenge of it. I am excited about the certainty it will give me about me - who I am at my core. I am very excited about expanding the space in my mind that is tranquil and content and bringing that more into the world on a practical, daily basis, into my relationship with myself and others, and into my work.
I, like anyone else, want more freedom from a crazy mind that is in a constant motion of noise and busyness - part of the time telling me about my faults in fantastic, painful detail contrasted by times of grandiose posturing about an I that is unrealistic and puffed up with an identity dependant on the ownership of titles, people and possessions that don't even really belong to me. I want to be free from it and although I know this will not be complete emancipation I am excited about the progress. This is one step towards it.
To learn more about me and my work please visit my website Nicky Roberts Coaching
To learn more about Vipassana here are some great websites that I've come across in my own searching: