I met my first life coach, Coach Camille, at Date With Destiny. She was insightful, tough and really transformed the way I felt about myself and the way I showed up in life.
Looking back, here are 5 key takeaways that really helped me shift.
1. I am resourceful.
I always had a story about how I couldn't do certain things. How helpless I was. I couldn't make friends, I couldn't solve certain problems, I couldn't loose weight, I couldn't earn more money. All my life most of the people around me would agree and commiserate with me in my complaining. Friends would agree that the economy was in bad shape or that it was difficult to make friends or losing weight just got more difficult the older we got. Coach Camille said, "That's BS! You are very resourceful. I'm confidant you'll figure this out."
2. There are safe problems and quality problems.
I must have done lot of complaining during those sessions with my coach because here again I was bemoaning something and very quickly Coach Camille stopped me in my tracks and said, "This is not a quality problem. This is a problem that you continue to perpetuate because it feels safer not to solve it."
3. Set yourself up for success.
For some reason I thought I could go from zero to hero in just a few short leaps and with the result being that I would invariably fall flat on my face demotivated and slightly miserable. My coach quickly pointed out that I needed to take smaller steps and set myself up for success by making them easily achievable.
4. Stop telling stories.
This was an blinding moment of realization. In fact when she first told me that what I was telling her was "just my story" I didn't know how to respond, I was dumfounded. What do I say if I don't tell my stories? (Yes, I was that unconscious.) I soon recovered from this shocking piece of insight and discovered that my life, and I, didn't need any of the drama and embellishment I lathered on it in an attempt to illicit sympathy and connection and that the result is quite beautiful and authentic when I tell the truth.
5. Measure and celebrate success.
When I started being coached I was so bad at this part that I even asked my coach what it meant to celebrate a success and could she give me some ideas on how to do it. I even googled How To Celebrate, when she replied, "You are resourceful, you'll figure it out" and wrote a list of ways I could celebrate.
Measuring was also a huge step. I had never paid attention to how I was doing well but always had an excellent accounting of how much I screwed up.
So, looking at your own life, how might these 5 life coaching lessons help you shift and transform your life?
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